Audentia

-Isenhart- · Joined: 04 Mar 2008 Posts: 15 Location: Sweden

How the Shaman was created

Following situation: The son (S) of the programmer (F) responsible for the horde characters in WoW had discovered that is father was cheating on his mother. The boy told his father that he would tell mother about it, unless the boy would get his own computer and a WoW-Account. But that wasnt all ...

S: If you dont want mama know about about your little affair ... i also want my own Character Class in WoW.
F: Ok, errm, well, fine, you get the Shaman. He's able to fight, can carry shields or a two handed weapon, wear leather armor.
S: Hmm ... leather? No, i want something better! I want mail armor!
F: Hmm Okay, mail armor it is and you can place various Totems aswell.
S: Err ... what do these Totems do?
F: Well, they can heal or make damage or they make your armor stronger and they'll work for your whole group.
S: So, how many do I have?
F: 20 diffrent, bur you can only use one at a time.
S: Two
F: No, One
S: Three
F: You want to piss me off? I said One.
S: Four
F: Get OUT!!
S: Mom?
F: Four is fine ... Cookie?
S: Yeah, and I want to do magic!
F: But you have already a two handed weapon, four totems and ...
S: MOM !?!?
F: ... you can do magic, 1.5 second casts
S: Instant!
F: No, that would be unfair ...
S: INSTANT or else ...
F: Okay ... no problem, instant.
S: So what can the other character classes do?
F: The others? Well, fighting, spell casting, healing ...
S: I want to heal!
F: Good, you can
S: Thanks
F: Now please leave me working and go watch TV or something ...
S: So what can I do if somebody runs away from me?
F: Hmm ... yes ... here, frost shock, now he is slower, and now please ...
S: How long does the frost shock remain?
F: 3 seconds
S: And how often can I cast it?
F: Every 6 seconds
S: And in between?
F: You got to give your enemies at least a little chance ...
S: Maaaaa....
F: Okay .. it lasts 6 seconds.
S: And if I forget to cast?
F: Okay, 12 seconds, and now please ...
S: And I want to be faster much faster - even if they are not freezed....
F: Here, Ghost Wolf ... you can change yourself into a wolf and you'll be much faster
S: Hmm ...
F: What?
S: What if I want to make several people slower?
F: Here ... Earthbind Totem ... and now piss off.
S: And what if somebody hits me?
F: Well, you just fight back, do magic, or ...
S: But I want my enemies to draw damage when they hit me
F: Wait, thats idiotic: Your enemy shall receive damage when he damages you AND when you're damaging him??
S: Exactly
F: K... Lightning Shield, and now PISS OFF!!
S: And what if somebody shoots with a bow at me?
F: Then the Shield also works for Bows and now, please please please leave me alone
S: And what if somebody casts magic $!@% at me?
F: Well, you can fight, do magic yourself, heal ....
S: I want something that eliminates the next incoming cast
F: ...well ... i've just been working on the Totems anyway ... here you have a Grounding Totem
S: And what if he heals himself?
F: Well you cant do anything about that ...
S: Mmmmmmaaaaaa ....
F: Earth Shock, Instant ... anything else?
S: And what if he is buffed? I want also Buffs
F: Here... Wind Fury, should be enough ...
S: But my enemies should not have any buffs ....
F: But you can buff, heal, magic, stop magic, two handed weapons ....
S: I WANT
F: Not in this tone with me!
S: MAAAAMAAAA
F: Purge ... Purge is Good. Well it was designed for Warlocks but okay ... Purge.
S: And if someone is poisoning me?
F: You just use the Poison cleaning totem
S: No
F: Yes
S: NO
F: ... fine ... you get a spell for it
S: And what if I play with party?
F: Actually you dont need to play with others ... you can do everything yourself ...
S: No, I want to be able to ressurect people from death
F: Okay ... you can
S: And if I die myself?
F: Well somebody else must revive you ...
S: No, I want to do that myself aswell
F: Err... but you're dead!!
S: I WANT !!!!
F: Ok ... you can resurrect yourself when you're dead.
S: I want something else ...
F: Underwater breathing is still available
S: Okay, but something is still missing ...
F: YOU CAN USE TWO-HANDED WEAPONS, WEAR MAIL ARMOR, CARRY SHIELDS, CAST MAGIC STUFF, PREVENT MAGIC STUFF FROM OTHERS, HEAL, INSTANT CASTS, TOTEMS, DEBUFF ENEMIES, CHANGE YOURSELF INTO A WOLF, FREEZE ENEMIES, BREATHE UNDERWATER, RESURRECT YOURSELF AND OTHERS - SO WHAT THE !&$% YOU WANT ELSE - PREACHING AND WALKING ON WATER !?!???!??!!??!
S: Well, certainly not preaching ...